April 2022 Newsletter
The Many Benefits of Quitting Exercise, Eating Fatty Foods & Drinking Sugary Beverages
Can we all agree that your heart will only beat so many times in your life before it stops? Once it stops, you’re dead! So why on earth would we want to speed up your heart rate by doing any sort of aerobic exercise? Also, we know that resistance training creates microtrauma within your muscle fibers. TRAUMA! Why would you hurt yourself at the gym - when you could be lounging on the couch at home?
And on the nutrition side of things: How many times have we heard about “fresh” fruits and vegetables being recalled due to a risk of some sort of contaminant? When’s the last time you heard of chocolate being recalled? NEVER. And it’s delicious!!!
So, on this first day of April 2022, I call you to realize your destiny! Join me in embracing our newly enlightened view of the dire consequences that could accompany a self-destructive lifestyle including push-ups, sit-ups, squats; fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean meats! Round up your friends and neighbors to start a fridge-to-couch revolution! Let’s eat ice-cream by the quart and pie by the plate. And above all else, remember - friends don’t let friends eat broccoli!
Happy April Fools Day,
Robert M. Kennedy
President/CEO
We think you’re the best! If the feeling is mutual, please tell the world!
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